I have been tagged. By some kind of meme thing. I think it is nerdy phenomena I should know about but don't. My friend donna was tagged by this seemingly irresistable form of viral infection, and didn't tag me, which I was a little bit jealous about. Not nerdy enough, I assume. Another of my friends has tagged me. From the other side of the world, and now I wish she hadn't. See how that whole be careful what you wish for thing works. Fahey Younger, who knows I cannot resist any kind of goading whatsoever, has tagged me, and now I sit before you with some kind of cyberherpes. I need digital valtrex. Or just a polite fingering.

Apparently, I am required to reveal 5 things about myself that nobody knows. Or six things. Donna says five, Fahey says six. It is probably five, because Donna is lazy and Fahey is a show-off. I will do six, however, because that is the way it has been done to me.

1/ My favourite word is fingering. I once said it to Toni Pearen. In the street. She squealed. Apparently fingering has not been used in common parlance since year 8. When I say fingering, you know I'm talking about playing the piano, don't you, not the Marty Sheargold kind of fingering which happens in a swimming pool. Don't ask me, it's his routine. (Ring him up and ask him, I dare you)

2/ I have an obsessive love for Doctor Who. It has gotten out of control. I watch the new ones, the old ones, listen to the audio plays, read the books (fiction and non-fiction) read the comic books, get the toys. I think Doctor Who was my father substitute as a child because I wasn't all that happy with the one I had.

3/ I am afraid of fire. Even little fires, like in a tealight candle. I'm scared they will come and get me. I also have an irrational fear of spontaneous human combustion. I had a weird dream last night that I was in a dodgy japanese horror film, where kids would draw symbols on their faces and say "I hope you catch on fire" to their parents, and they would. There were lots of flaming people diving in the water. I went to an undersea base where nobody knew the symbols, but there was a kid there who did, and he set me on fire, so I had to jump in the sea. (I was japanese and had black hair and looked not unlike Lei in Tekken or Jet Li).

4/ I once had a threesome by accident. I thought I was getting a lift home. Come and see my comedy festival show, I'll explain in more detail.

5/ I once studied writing, both at RMIT (Professional Writing and Editing) and at the London Cartoon Centre, where I was studying comic book writing - I wanted to write Spider-Man and Judge Dredd comics. I created a team of characters called Steele's Angels which consisted of 3 women. Banana - a Venezuelan gymnast and former Miss World who got done for drug cheating (she was genetically enhanced and produced far more adrenalin than was legal) Spliff - an eastend Londoner (from Jamaican parents) who could alter gases, even the air we breathe... and finally; Glitz, a super-strong flying drag queen who lost all of her powers if her wig or makeup came off. (Like Marilyn Manson, her real name is Bryan)

6/ I have never had sex with a woman. Not even once. I am a thoroughbred homo. I was like that kid on Ugly Betty. Camp little kid.

There you go. Now who can I tag? I don't know any bloggers. Higgo, maybe. Ummm... Malcolm. Kerrin, you're it. The Hammer! (I based comic book villains on Justin Hamilton, and myself. They are GaySkull and The Hammer - you don't want to know what their powers were, suffice it to say, at some point someone gets pounded into paste). Rin. and... Sexy John!

Okay, tagged back. Phew. This is more exhausting than scarecrow tiggy. I don't like all that bending down and running through legs unless I get a bone at the end. (I swear my dog wrote that...)