Buy a Chop for Xmas
The delightful Ethel Chop has an iPhone app.
Don't ask me how that cranky old crone got herself on the young people's wireless device, but there you are.
You can pick it up at the App Store.
(Basically, you press a button, and she witters on about, well, the kind of things that Ethel has a penchant to witter on about).
(Ethel Chop's alter ego, Andrea Powell will be wearing one of her many guises at the Character Comedy Xmas Show)