FabWah! McFadden Must Die!

Delta Goodrem's hideous boyfriend, Brian McFadden (formerly "The Fat One From Westlife") must be taken to task by any self-respecting homosexual man.

Like the Fatwah placed upon Salman Rushdie, who offended Islam with his statements about Allah in 'The Satanic Verses,' we must enact a similar religious vendetta, which I am calling a FabWah.

Brian, who I used to like because he thought I was funny on Rove Live, must now suffer a severe slapping, or at least some unkind comments to his face about his limp hair. He has trespassed where only Elton dare tread, but unlike Elton, he has neither the clout of the fabulous, nor the history of ability.

The following statements are attributed to Brian McFadden in reference to Madonna, the Patron Saint of Homosexual Dancing (and Dire Acting): "People are saying Madonna makes great music, it's really rubbish. She doesn't have a good voice and she is boring. Just because she's Madonna everybody says 'brilliant' and 'genius'. I don't think she's ever been a good musician, I don't know what she's got. Maybe it's because she's been naked in some movies and excited a lot of men."

SACRELIGE!

The man must be made to pay for his crimes against our deity. Even if you do not love Madonna, you must be mindful of her impact in the greater community of gay men.

It is in this spirit that I implore you, take this FabWah and use it as indemnity against any act of spitting, biting, disdainful glance or deliberately loud derogatory comments within earshot. Brian McFadden must not be allowed to make these outrageous and inflammatory statements without reprisal. What would he know about music anyway? With his boring cut-price Brian Adams pastiche noise. And his dull girlfriend with the piano and the year ten poetry lyrics.

This is all I will say on the matter, Brian McFadden. Retract your statments immediately, or feel the wrath of homosexuality - there is no corner in which you can hide!