Adam Richard - creator/writer/star of Outland
The Boombah Diaries
I take my clothes off in front of people a lot. Anybody who has worked with me for any length of time (yes, even a minute) has had the misfortune to have been brown-eyed by me at some point or another. It’s shocking and unexpected, the first few times, and for some reason it always makes people laugh. The fact is, because I am fat, polite society tells me I should be hiding my grotesque arse away from sight under several layers of clothing. Polite society also told me not to be too much of a show-off or put cocks in my mouth, so you can see that the mooning was inevitable.
Well, Michelle Bridges was a bust. I think I have actually PUT ON weight! Probably because I couldn’t bring myself to do the exercises. I know Bridges will call all of these things I am about to tell you ‘excuses,’ but that is an extremely reductive way to describe deep-seated emotional difficulties that lead to binge eating and depressive laziness.
Monday Week 1
Tuesday Week 1
Wednesday Week 1
Thursday Week 1
Friday Week 1
Well, yesterday was a disaster. I had to go to the Telstra shop to pick up my phone which was in for repair. This did not take the 15-20 minutes I had allotted. It took nearly 90. They wouldn’t let me leave before it synched with the gmail server. Tedious. Then when I did finally leave, the phone started exhibiting all the problems it had which made me take it in to begin with. So I had to go back. The staff at the Telstra shop, I should stress, were very helpful and informative, and they seemed just as frustrated with the repair centre as I was. They sent the phone off again, and I finally booted off for home via the supermarket. I was going to walk to the train station to get to a film screening booked in for 3pm, but the dilly dallying at the phone shop meant I had to drive. I also didn’t get to cook my lunch, so I had the bowl of cereal originally slated for breakfast.
Friday 16th November.
I accidentally ate Hungry Jacks.
I've decided I need to lose weight. Again. I make this decision every year about this time. It's November. Last year it was in September, when I kept getting kicked off roller coasters at Movie World for being too fat. My then 10yo step-monster was so disappointed. His dad, now my ex (long story, which I've never told well), was too scared to go on the rides with him, and I was too fat.
My last attempt at fat reduction, after the roller coaster rejection horror, was Weight Watchers. In principle, it's a great plan. The points are easy to calculate, and you can eat as much fruit as you like. Unfortunately, their online customer service department is atrocious. I quit the program in a flurry of fury after their third email to me that had clearly been cut and pasted from their troubleshooting FAQs. I used to be a systems administrator, so I am pretty adept at doing my own troubleshooting before contacting technical support.