Back in the sixties and
seventies, ‘camp’ was something fascinatingly awful; 'so bad it's
good.' Like the Batman TV series and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Nowadays camp has just become gay - due in no small part to a large
chunk of the gay community worshipping all things camp.
I'm the worst
offender. I can often be heard screaming: ‘Oh my god! It's awful! I
I think now we need a new word for ‘the art form formerly known as
camp.’ Something that sums up the earnest zeal, the outrageous
miscalculation, the cringe-inducing enthusiasm, and the pure and simple
stupidity that fuels hilarious disasters like Glitter (Mariah Carey),
Dancing with the Stars, and the grotesqueries produced from the
collaboration of Anne Geddes and Celine Dion.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be exploring some of these ridiculous
oddities in detail, but today I need to find a name that sums up more
than ‘camp.’ It needs to be more succinct than ‘so bad it’s good.’ It
needs to be more descriptive than ‘hideously hilarious.’ And it needs
to be more of a catchphrase than ‘cringeworthy.’
The egotist in me wants to create my own word. I want something I can
stand back from and say ‘I thought of that! That’s my word! My own
I have, however, found a phrase elsewhere that
fits perfectly. (So I’ll have to be content with having invented
gruesome euphemisms like ‘courtesy fingers’ and ‘bachelor’s
The word I’ve chosen comes from The Simpsons, the writers of which have
an innate understanding of overblown folly, undelivered promise and
excruciating enthusiasm. How else would they have conceived Streetcar!
and Planet of the Apes: the Musical, the unembarrassable Troy Maclure,
and theme parks based on beer and jesus.
So, from now on, these musings on all things camp, wrong, ridiculous
and unfeasibly stupid, shall be grouped under one title; Bart Simpson’s
description of the mess his father created with Christmas lights: CRAPTACULAR.
I know I don't get to update this very often. I'm a bit like Britney
Spears (who finally has her letter posted on http://www.britneyspears.com) This is hell week at work. Just to give you an idea of how much work
goes into four minutes of gossip, here is what I've been doing and am
going to do this week:
(continued in next post)
Saturday 16/10 Caulfield Cup. Living it up in the Channel 7 Marquee, where they provide everything you could possibly need, including a little TAB. After a long afternoon trying to get Tottie Goldsmith to pash a 21-year-old, I went off to a barbecue and then out to the Peel (such a mistake!)
Sunday 17/10 ARIAS. Midday flight, with a detour via the station to pick up recording equipment. Red carpet arrivals start at 4:30pm, and the Sydney Superdome is 45mins away from town in a cab! Standing around picking my nose in the Media Room until midnight, and then off to bed. (Party was crap).
Monday 18/10 ARIA Report. Broadcast from 2DAY in Sydney to Fox in Melbourne, SA.FM in Adelaide, 92.9 in Perth and FM104.7 in Canberra. Fly out of Sydney and then head back to Fox and do some work.
Tuesday 19/10 Work at 6am, then off to the Australian Diamond Company. I'm recording our Ready, Steady Wedding couples getting a ring. Midday I have to see The Forgotten to prep for an interview with the sublimely talented Julianne Moore. Also have to reschedule a gig to make way for an interview with Hilary Duff next Tuesday. At 6pm I have to rock up at 7 studios to watch Dancing With the Stars.
Wednesday 20/10 Work at 6am. Movie screening at 10:30am for weekend reviews. ADC unveiling at 6pm. Wagamama opening at 7pm.
And it goes like that every day! I have to go to Idol on Sunday in Sydney. Can my life be any more insane?
Looking for more celebrity goss than you can poke a browser at? Head over to fox.com.au and click on the Matt, Jo and Benno page. Down on the left, under a picture of me and my fab-e-mail, there's an update from the fabulounge. All the goss that is unfit to print.
I'm heading back out at night-time during July. This, completely in spite of the fact that I'm now working 5 mornings a week on 101.9 Fox FM's Matt, Jo and Benno breakfast show. Check out the gig guide for all the details.
Also, if you missed Adam Richard BITCH during the Melbourne Comedy Festival, it will be returning for a strictly limited one week season at Tony Starr's Kitten Club at the end of August.
I don't think anyone said it better than Madonna - Holiday; Celebrate!. I'm off for two weeks, starting with the Queens' Birthday weekend (it's like the Horses' Birthday - we all have our birthday that day). I'll be out on the town in Melbourne that weekend, then it's off to Alice Springs! I'm popping off to see Fiona O'Loughlin in her natural habitat (no, not Liquorland - that's just mean).
I'll be back at the end of June for the Southern Hibernation Opening Party and you'll be able to hear me from Monday 28th June on 101.9 Fox FM Melbourne (Matt, Jo and Benno - weekday mornings from 6-9am) 107.1 SA.FM Adelaide (with Milly and Lehmo - Monday mornings after 8am) and 92.9fm Perth (The Show - Mon/Wed/Fri 4-6pm).
The comedy festival is a done deal, so now it's time for the world's greatest song festival. Eurovision is upon us in a scant few weeks. The entries this year are breathtaking in their simplicity and side-aching in their hilarity. http://www.eurovision.tv/english/
You can check out all the entries online, or you can order the Eurovision cd. This year it is on over two big nights. My eyes are watering with expectation. My house turns into a Eurovision mini-festival, we bet on the winners, we mock the costumes, we applaud the obligatory key change, we mock the costumes, we laugh at the 'nul points' countries, and we mock the costumes. If you are listening to 101.9 Fox FM you can hear eurovision entries during my segment right up until the 15th May.
Well the comedy festival starts tonight. Hope you have all girded your loins for the onslaught. Show details are on the comedy page, but if you need the booking number here it is:
Ticketmaster7 1300 66 0013.
Or you can get tix at the door. It's $14 for this preview weekend, and every tuesday, and $20 for the rest of the festival.
If you want a discount adamrichard.com voucher, email firstname.lastname@example.org and you'll get in for twelve bucks! (avail tue-thu only)
Due to work commitments at Melbourne's 101.9 Fox FM, I have had to cancel the premiere season of 'Adam Richard - Bitch' at the Adelaide Fringe. Very big apologies to those of you who had already purchased tickets, Fringe Ticketing will see that your money is refunded promptly. 'Adam Richard - Bitch' will premiere at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 25th March 2004, and I will appear in limited seasons in other cities (especially Adelaide!) later in the year.